Why do I want to be skinner then I am?

I'm 5'8" and I'm about 120lb. so why do I feel like I need to loose weight. I'm not fat or anything so why do I not like the way I look. Sometimes I would rather be anorexic then be the way I am....which i know is stupid but it���s true. Ever since I was little all of my family said that I should be a model when I grow up; I tried to go to additions before, but their excuse is always you are too short or come back when you get your braces off. Or I just get the people who want money from you and they always say I have the look for it, which I do know if they are lying to me or not. But a lot of people have told me that I should be a model especially b/c of my long legs, but in the last 2 years I have gained weight and all the models that you look at are stick skinny, so if I want to be a model I have to loose weight. The only problem is that I say I���m not going to eat bad food or I will exercise more, but I never fall through with my plan. Then I just feel sick of my self even though I shouldn't because I'm not fat. I would go to the gym but I work too much and even if I had the time too I don't drive so I can't go to the gym and I already wake up at 6am to go to school so its not I can do it in the morning and then at nigh I have to do my hw. So I���m lost how to loose weight


Comments

  • BALLS said Nov 28, 2006...
    It's so difficult being a young women these days. I'd bet you are pretty and that you are about the right weight for your build. Not good enough. ha ha, if I told you it's all in your head you sound smart enough to understand this. Yet, it's sometimes of little added value to know something in your heart, but be obbsessed with something entirely different. My advice, forget being a model, not all it's cracked up to be. Try being a decent human being instead, so little of that going around these days AND, I bet your a natural at it !        
  • thegirl said Nov 28, 2006...
    Aww thank-you both for your adivce. I people probably do think of me the way i think of them and i guess putting my self through everything to just be a model for couple of years is stupid. And if people do not like me by the way i look then why would i want to be friends with them anyway.
  • queenparanoia said Nov 28, 2006...
    well, society's perception of beauty sucks!!!! i dunno how to lose weight with your schedule honey but i hope you realize that nowadays models doesn't need to be stick thin. its all about confidence baby!!! so believe in your self! and as tyra banks says be fierce!!!
  • danetteb said Nov 29, 2006...
    Phew... and I thought it was just me!?We have the December holidays just 2 weeks away - btw in South Africa its summer now, which mean that I'll be spending a full week @ the beach.Now you might be jealous, and think of "all the fun we'll have" - but its damn hard to stay in shape!!I'm not eating much start at the moment - mainly fruits & veg, and some protein when I feel dizzy.My job is currently claiming a lot of overtime, so I can't exercise much, and when I eventually get home, exercise is the last thing I wanna do.Ugh, just thinking about getting into a bikini makes me feel sick :-(
  • danetteb said Nov 29, 2006...
    Phew... and I thought it was just me!?We have the December holidays just 2 weeks away - btw in South Africa its summer now, which means that I'll be spending a full week @ the beach.Now you might be jealous, and think of "all the fun we'll have" - but its damn hard to stay in shape!!I'm not eating much start at the moment - mainly fruits & veg, and some protein when I feel dizzy.My job is currently claiming a lot of overtime, so I can't exercise much, and when I eventually get home, exercise is the last thing I wanna do.Ugh, just thinking about getting into a bikini makes me feel sick :-(
  • danetteb said Nov 29, 2006...
    Phew... and I thought it was just me!?We have the December holidays just 2 weeks away - btw in South Africa its summer now, which means that I'll be spending a full week @ the beach.Now you might be jealous, and think of "all the fun we'll have" - but its damn hard to stay in shape!!I'm not eating much starch at the moment - mainly fruits & veg, and some protein when I feel dizzy.My job is currently claiming a lot of overtime, so I can't exercise much, and when I eventually get home, exercise is the last thing I wanna do.Ugh, just thinking about getting into a bikini makes me feel sick :-(
  • moonriver said Nov 29, 2006...
    thegirl -- i'm a man, and i can't say i don't have my own yardstick of physical female beauty. but boiling it down to a mere question of weight is shallow, and victimizes most women who can't conform to show-biz standards of beauty. i hope rather that you do well in your studies, develop real friends, gain self-confidence, and remain healthy through good food, exercise, no body toxics. it will be that inner beauty that will last you a lifetime.
  • missb said Nov 29, 2006...
    dasfkjhsadkjfhskjdhfkjsahfdkjhdsakjfhksajd
  • thegirl said Nov 29, 2006...
    I guess that in not what i should put all my energy towards, i should do what moonriver said and especially put most of my energy toward studies it is my last year in high school i need to do good. Thank-you
  • gingersoul said Nov 29, 2006...
    Thegirl........it makes me sick reading your post.... because i have a daughter of 11 yrs old and i am already reading in her the same signs of your anxiety....the unbeliavable pressure of this shallow society to be IT: skinnier, trendier, richer, blonder, darker...... and.it doesnt even matter...because you have always to be something more and different from what you are... I feel your pain.We women have this double weight over our shoulder; beauty, perfection. Men can go on in their life and never watch themselves once in the mirror. They spare themselves all this fixation and have time and energy to focus better on building their life, being successfull, follow their dreams... We are obsessed any single moment with our look, what other think about us, what we have to do to be like other want us to be. i would like to teach each young girl what a waste of time and energy is all of this.... i was like you. Obsessing all my teen age life, my young girl life with my look.... I was to chubby then i got too thin adn my nose sticked out then my hair were too straight then my perm was burning them then i was too dark now i am too blonde...then i had a small booty the i got one meatier but my boobs are too big agwhhhhhhhh .IT DIDN'T MATTER! for my eyes i was never satisfied with my look....men adored me and i was telling them..are you sure? you say i am gorgeous today what about yesterday?....lol... Its painful, stressful, its mindbloggig, at the end ..ist eating you up. And men dont have a clue about it... We should break all the mirrors...but better.. we have to find a balance..unfortunatley for most of us we reach it only in our adult life...i wish i had this wise attitude when i was younger... beauty is really not the outside..its the way you walk, its the way you smile, its the way you look in othet people eyes, its the way you present yourself in a positive attitude, its your heart. A healthy sane body can only support all of this. Not being the cause. Big boobs dont give you a gentle soul. And this is what people at the end will remember of you. One last thing......shallow people has shallow values...do you want be like them?   i wish you could learn from us "older sisters"..listen  to us....we learned our lessons, we are stil learning too... ....i hug you... i wish you what moon wished you too... 
  • sweet*nothing said Nov 29, 2006...
    It sounds like you’re making yourself pretty miserable.  You should think about why you’re so obsessed with losing weight when you know you are not fat, and more specifically, whether you really want to pursue a career that is already making you depressed about your body (and you’re not even in the industry yet).  It sounds like that may not be the healthiest option for you, and I’m not even talking physically.   Weight aside though, it may be possible that what is frustrating you is your inability to stick to your resolutions. Sometimes that in itself is upsetting – if I tell myself I will go to the gym today, and then don’t, I’m annoyed with myself for not following through.  I also feel disgusting for making bad eating choices, even though I don’t have a weight issue. I think we chip away slowly but surely at our self esteem as we break promises to ourselves.  You should be careful about setting realistic goals, and then really make it a point to follow through. Please note that all this is more about the stress that can be caused by procrastination and not doing what we set out to do – and nothing to do with losing weight.  In fact, as far as weight is concerned 120lbs at 5’8” sounds just about perfect – I am just over 5’8” and currently 110lbs and desperate to put on more weight. My ideal is 120K actually.  And am often told how perfect I would be with just that little bit more weight. I have also been approached by ppl who think I should model, and once by a scout in New York – none of whom thought I should lose weight.  And some who suggested I gain a little (in muscle).  As for those who ask for money – never ever go to those!  It is a known fact in the industry that anyone who asks for money for a portfolio etc. are not genuine agents.  Good luck in whatever you choose to pursue … just make sure it is something that makes you happy (both in the attainment of it as well as during the pursuit).
  • thegirl said Nov 29, 2006...
    thank-you all, Gingersoul please make sure that ur daghter doesn't feel this way....i always like when my mom says i'm skinny or that i lost weight or that i look very pretty eventhough its just coming from my mom it make me feel really good. And i know looks are one of  the last importent things i should worrie about, but since i never had a guy being interest to me that makes me want to loose it more. Danette i know i hate being in a bikinny when i don't feel like i llok good and work keeps me from exersice too, so i toatly understand. I hope everything will be ok for you. sweet*nothing i guess i shouldn't do modeling if i have to loose weight for it and i don't feel like i really need to that much. 
  • gingersoul said Nov 29, 2006...
    Thegirl.....you are so sweet... i do compliment my daughter and i know she really beams when i tell her her how pretty she is and how great she looks ... you should try not to make the wrong and lethal connection between your look and the guys....it will come around he one who will like and love you just teh way you are....dont worry...but dont think that yuo will win a guy just being thinner and thinner...believe me, i was an ugly duck when i was younger yet boys flocked around me..you know why? i was listening, talking to them, doing things with them,.i was confident..really, look is not all.... i wish you to see the real beauty you already are....
  • thegirl said Nov 29, 2006...
    i will try my best and thank-you
  • danetteb said Nov 30, 2006...
    Thank you thegirl for the inspiration.  I exercised last night! I'll try to continue with it each night, but it probably won't make a difference in two weeks...  I wish I could just "not care" like I used to when I was little :/Somehow that comment of mine got posted three times.  You're welcome to delete the extra two - I don't know if its maybe my internet connection which causes that, or SoulCast itself.  Who knows. 
  • thegirl said Nov 30, 2006...
    Danetteb-i know i wish we didn't have to care like when we wore little, but since we do keep up with the exercise i bet it will make at least a little diference plus it will make you feel better. Keep it up!!!   Missb- thank-you, i guess you are right that if i loose more weight i will look like i'm sick, maybe i should eat normaly like i do now since i don't eat that much junk food and exercise a little at that will be good enough to keep me looking good and health. P.S. I don't think ur friends should be taking those pills they are very bad for you! Thank-you all!!!!
  • missb said Nov 30, 2006...
    Thegirl,   Sorry for my gibberish comment. I was having problem with soulcast and it was just a test. You can delete it if you want :)   Anyway, I understand how you feel. You're not the only one. I have friends like that. They are not fat, in fact they have great bodies but always feel that they need to lose some more weight. That is plain crazy. They even take slimming pills when they're not fat!   I used to be skinny for years. People said i looked unhealthy and lacked the "glow". Then my lifestyle changed for worse so i gained a lot of weight. I went from skinny to chubby :) People were shocked. Anyway, now i'm 105lbs at 5'2". I'm happy with my weight but i need to work out more to get rid of the excess fat i still have from my chubby days ;)   As for you thegirl, as james blunt said; you're beautiful. I think if you lose more weight, you might look unhealthy and lack the glow like i used to be. You're perfect now. Hope you feel better. Besides, i think guys don't really like too skinny girls ;)   Cheers!

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